We’re taught from the time we’re very young about the importance of love and romance. So many of us are raised to think of it as our purpose in life and the one path toward true happiness. Like a dog chasing a car, we rarely stop to think about what we’ll do once we catch it. What good is finding love if we don’t know how to keep it?
A situation where this is especially common is when someone is going through a divorce. Even when the marriage wasn’t making them happy, the aftermath was a result of a lot of emotions bubbling up to the surface. This is completely normal and can almost be expected when dealing with a divorce. But, is it normal to have a grief response? Actually, yes it is.
Activity in our brain is shaped by how we see and process the world around us, which in turn affects the types of hormones our brain instructs our bodies to produce. Emotional states like anxiety have a powerful effect on the brain—here are some of the most common ways your anxiety may be impacting you.
In contrast to the normal grieving process, complicated grief is both intense and long-lasting. It persists for months or even years, churning under the surface. Think of it as quicksand—the longer you struggle, the deeper you sink—but even if you try to remain still, you’re still stuck in place.
Mothers appear throughout myth and popular culture as sacred. Artists for hundreds of years have depicted them as beatific and serene; angels of creation with a babe held sweetly in their arms. You would be forgiven for thinking they are somehow above all worry or concern. Not shown are the food cravings, sleepless nights, and terror over what the future might hold.
When we think of depression we often picture someone in a dark room, struggling to get up in the morning or take care of themselves. Depression is like a massive weight sitting on someone’s shoulders making even mundane tasks feel impossible to take care of.
Some people get to grow up, others have to settle for survival. Childhood trauma looks different for everyone, whether it’s the result of neglect, abuse, exposure to bullying, or even the result of serious illness or hospitalization.
Whether you’ve been in a relationship for a while or you’re still playing the field looking for love, it’s useful to start figuring out what your boundaries are. During the early stages of a relationship, it can be tempting to brush off red flags because you’re so excited to meet someone you click with.
There are so many accomplished professionals who wear their perfectionism as a badge of honor. They’re ambitious, successful, and determined. But those same qualities that translate into success in the workplace can cause issues for our romantic lives.
Anyone who’s ever dated or been married knows that relationships have ups and downs. The warm, fuzzy glow of those first weeks and months settles into a steady rhythm. In the best case scenario we’re able to kick back and enjoy ourselves—knowing that it won’t always be so easy. But what happens when that sense of peace evades us?
